this is mostly about me resisting love not because of "oh, I'm unworthy!". more because of what I'll give up. intellectually I know that I lose nothing by allowing myself to be loved - by God, by others - and that as a matter of fact, I'll actually gain, and others will gain, too. Only goodness. Only… Continue reading resisting love
Into the light
In my experience. To heal our hearts, and consequently, our whole person, to bring all of us into the light, the Holy Spirit will present different things to us, in His timing, when we can listen. A memory, a hurt, a sin, a good moment - something we've "buried" in our deep subconscious - 'wound… Continue reading Into the light
I make myself eat every three hours.
Because if I don't make myself, my "instinct" is to cut back on food. Or, terribly, to eat what's likely a normal amount, Genuinely, having too much food in my stomach causes anxiety sometimes. I'm sure some doctors would say that that's a physiological reaction, and I'm sure it has physiological symptoms, but I'm pretty… Continue reading I make myself eat every three hours.
Afraid to care
I'm waiting to get my car fixed after being told multiple times I should consider writing a blog thinking how stupid it feels to write down stupid insights over things a million other people have already probably realized and do I really need to add one more voice to the melee. Anyway, I am writing because… Continue reading Afraid to care
To be “myself”
It's really easy to not be authentic. Which is an overused word, for some. But words are real, words ought to have a real connection to *real* reality. Authentic mean something. Authenticity is honesty about *who* you are. It isn't rudeness, or arrogance. It's being simple. Present. Without agenda. Real. It's very easy to fall… Continue reading To be “myself”
News from the perspective of merciful love
The full text of the honors newsletter post for FUS grads ____ So, (a friend) asked me to run a little news “column” for fun here in the Honors Newsletter (which somehow feels like writing for the DC multiverse) addressing news from our perspective as Honors Students (which I don’t know how well I can… Continue reading News from the perspective of merciful love
In defense of eye-contact
Recently, a lot of people have asked what I like to do. Specifically, adults. And usually, I look down and don't really say anything - usually I try to sit down and shut up - because I feel embarrassed about being contrary, but listen, I don't actually like to do anything, so stop asking. I… Continue reading In defense of eye-contact
the why of why I do things
I recently realized many of the things I do are because I am self conscious. Of what? Of whatever. Hair, eyes, voice, nose. Like being partially out-of-body, observing and critiquing my entire self. Why? I don't know. But I do know: simplicity is presenting one's self exactly as they are: no more, no less. As… Continue reading the why of why I do things
crosses
“Any cross would be easy to bear if we could only tailor it to fit ourselves. Our Lord’s cross was not made by Him, but for Him. Crosses and burdens are thrust upon us. Our acceptance makes them personal. Our Lord even said that there would be at least seven crosses a week: ‘Take up… Continue reading crosses
Existence is Good
My existence is good. My existence is inherently good. All existence is inherently good. Evil & Sin tends toward nonexistence, Good & Repentance & Healing tends toward more in existence in both the world and within my whole being, body/mind/heart/spirit/soul. The more I allow God to make me new, the more I move toward God,… Continue reading Existence is Good
dum spiro, spero. 